Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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