READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
