Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
