Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize