# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
