I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
