ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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