Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Randomize
