Can Purell be used as lube?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
