Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
