i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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