I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize