my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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