I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
