I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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