You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
