He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
