Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
now i know why i became what i already was.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
