I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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