i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
