At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
