He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
