Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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