Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize