Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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