You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
