My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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