i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
