I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
