I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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