i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize