Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Its about making memories worth repressing
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
