think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
