i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
