He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
