Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
