Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
