this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You smell like stripper and shame
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
