everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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