So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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