On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize