What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
