If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
