Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't think brook has ever known best
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
