can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
