So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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