ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
