I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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