you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
