Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
