it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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