Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."

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(209): View more from California

is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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(319): View more from Iowa

He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

(648): View more from

Since when is drunk an angle?

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(248): View more from Michigan

i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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(520): View more from Arizona

He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"

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(573): View more from Missouri

i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.

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