My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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