I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
