In the future we'll all be gay
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
