end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
