Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize