Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I want her autograph on my taint
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
